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The Flash discovered how to run at the speed of light when he discovered Chuck Norris was looking for him.

Ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories at the campfire.

He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

When Chuck Norris's parents had nightmares, they would come to his bedroom.

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris plays dodgeball, the balls dodge him.

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.

Bigfoot is still hiding because he once saw Chuck Norris walking in the mountains.

Chuck Norris is the reason that Wally is always hiding.

Chuck doesn't need to throw out the trash, it always throws itself out.

The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.

When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get in shape.

Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling tournament, with both arms tied behind his back.

When Chuck Norris comes to your house he breaks your tooth and takes your money.

When the Tooth fairy comes to your house she takes your tooth and gives you money.

Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.

Chuck Norris has a diary, it is called the Guinness Book Of World Records.

Chuck Norris is able to slam a revolving door.Chuck Norris plays Jenga with Stonehenge.Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season his meat.Mission Impossible was originally set in Chuck Norris’s house.Chuck Norris once shattered the space-time continuum.Chuck Norris doesn't strike gold, gold is the byproduct of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking rocks.Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a coal mine and turned it into a diamond mine.Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.When asked about this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.” Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick.If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, ‘Two seconds till.’ After you ask, ‘Two seconds to what?’ he roundhouse kicks you in the face.Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light.Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job. Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.The Best Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick Jokes In honor of an all-American badass, here’s 102 Chuck Norris jokes and memorable facts. The simplicity makes each joke memorable and long-lasting.Īlthough it’s been years since his last acting role, Norris’ influence lives on as a long-running joke on the Internet.

They’re short and to the point and don’t need any basis in real information about the actor. The key to a decent Chuck Norris joke/fact is in its embellishment and sharp delivery. They range from boasts about his roundhouse kicks, to how he’s so powerful even the dark is afraid of him. Since the early 2000’s, fans have crafted Norris jokes and fictional “facts”. With his expansive filmography, Norris has built a legend out of himself. By 1983 he made a name for himself in Lone McQuade, which inspired his later well-known lead role on Walker, Texas Ranger.

The actor, author and martial artist began acting in the ‘70s, alongside the likes of Dean Martin and Bruce Lee.